His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize