and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
