I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
