Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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