How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
