I'm drive I can fine osifer
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize