don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
