i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
