This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
