Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize