i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
