Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she smelled like a LAN party
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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