I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
