...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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