I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize