I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
birth control should be required to get into college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
