I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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