I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
COCAINE IS GR8
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
