i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
