the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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