i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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