Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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