A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
