***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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