I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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