Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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