Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
