If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
