I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize