brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
