Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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