She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
