I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
