Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
