I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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