Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
