I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
