Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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