this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
