I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Enjoy the penises
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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