Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
