ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize