That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
