It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize