so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
