you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Be still, my beating vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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