There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
