"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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