The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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