and i looked up. we had an audience...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
