it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
