He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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