3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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