you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
