My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize