He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
