we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
